but you're hesitant to turn down the project at work or reschedule your dinner plans with friends (even when you're at max capacity) because you think doing less means ruining your relationships or pouring your reputation down the drain (ask me how I know 👀). 

So, you breathlessly march to the beat of the unrealistic expectations in your head, and the drill sergeant on your shoulder barks threats to keep you on the Hamster Wheel of Perfecting, Pleasing, and Performing: 

"They’ll think you’re rude."
"They’ll say you’re not a team player."
"You're too _____."
"You're not enough _____"

And it's exhausting, but it feels safer than doing anything differently because the accolades and praise feel like familiar, solid ground.

You can absolutely take the brave action to do less,

and you can do it without blowing up your relationships,

but you won't actually be content so long as your go-to strategy to manage stress and uncertainty is berating yourself.

In order to have a life where you honor your needs and set limits around what you do (and don't do), you need to have a relationship where you can trust yourself. 

And an inner-critic-gone-wild? It actively undermines self-trust. 

Until you have your own back, you will constantly scramble to be and do everything for everyone else -- and it still won't feel like enough.

You can cultivate a secure relationship with yourself -- one where you are safe, seen, secure, and soothed (h/t Carmen Spagnola).

It's time to speak to yourself in a way that demonstrates how trustworthy you actually are.

Because I want you to feel self-assured, confident, and empowered.

I want you to speak to yourself kindly, compassionately, and respectfully.

I want you to care for yourself so profoundly that the static in your head finally fades away.

Imagine if you saw yourself as a dear friend, figuring out this wild ride together -- instead of as an impediment to be fixed... 

From that felt sense of Enoughness, you will take the risks of living:

• you will proactively say "no" and honor your bandwidth, so you can pour into the people and experiences you truly love
• you will be brave and speak up for what matters most to you (even when it may rock the boat)
• you will make mistakes and you will still choose to have your own back

And you will live with this boundaried clarity and confidence guilt-free because the coherence of being in right relationship with yourself will finally feel like you're home.